Lidian H. wrote to me this week asking if I would tackle the use of “I” when the proper word to use is “me”, and vice versa.
For the record, and many of you will nod your heads in agreement, I have never claimed to be a grammarian. Like E.B. White, I believe that “English usage is sometimes more than mere taste, judgment, and education – sometimes it’s sheer luck, like getting across the street.”
That said, I spent the last few days reading reliable resources in order to ensure I adequately explained how to use “I” or “me” in a sentence.
One of my favorite go to grammar books is “My Grammar and I…Or Should That Be Me?: How to Speak And Write it Right”, which has a helpful chapter explaining the difference between Latin and English nouns when it comes to establishing relationships with other words in a sentence.
Whereas Latin nouns rely upon cases (different word endings that determine whether the word is the subject or object of the verb), English nouns primarily rely upon prepositions and word order to establish meaning.
In other words, Latin endings sort out meaning regardless of word order, but English is like a finicky femme fatale who requires absolutely appropriate word order to establish meaning.
So, when it comes to the pronouns “I” and “me”, they either do their own thing, or their own thing is done to them.
The “I” and “Me” Rule
I = First Person Singular Subject Pronoun (The Subject is the person doing the action of a verb.)
I want to go.
This is the one I like.
You and I need to get ready.
Jeff and I are going to the movies.
In this last sentence, “Jeff” and “I” together form the subject of the sentence, which is why “I” is used instead of “me”.
Me = Object Pronoun (The Object refers to the person that the action verb is acting upon, or to which a preposition refers.)
Jeff told me to leave.
He gave me ten dollars.
Between you and me, this is a bad idea.
She needs to talk to Jeff or me.
In this last sentence, “Jeff” and “Me” together form the object of the sentence, so the pronoun “me” is used instead of “I”.
Non-grammarian Cheat Technique
In most sentences, “I” will come before the verb and “me” comes after the verb.
However, if you are unclear about the difference between subjects and objects, there is a very easy way to determine whether to use “I” or “me” in any sentence. Drop out the other person and try the sentence again with just “I” or “me” (or if the sentence requires a plural, “we” or “us” respectively).
#1: He told Jeff and (I or me?) to get ready.
Wrong: He told I to get ready.
Right: He told me to get ready.
Correct choice: He told Jeff and me to get ready.
******
#2. After Jeff and (I or me?) were married, we had three kids.
Wrong: After me (were/was) married…
Right: After I (were/was) married…
Correct choice: After Jeff and I were married we had three kids.
******
#3. Just between you and (I or me?), this is a hard grammar lesson.
Wrong: Just between we…
Right: Just between us…
Correct choice: Just between you and me, this is a hard grammar lesson.
******
Just so you know, as much as I would like to think otherwise, I fully anticipate making this error in a future post, and for the record, welcome the gentle nudge of a polite email or comment with a text link back to this particular blog post.
Sources
1. Caroline Taggart and J.A. Wines, My Grammar and I…Or Should That Be Me, New York: Michael O’Mara Books Limited, 2009, 115.
2. “I vs Me,” e Learn English Language, http://www.elearnenglishlanguage.com/difficulties/ime.html
3. OxfordWords Blog. http://blog.oxforddictionaries.com/2012/02/i-or-me/
Comments? Suggestions? Hints/Tips? Feel free to let this Mean Ol’ Schoolmarm know what she missed.
Heather Sanders is a leading homeschooling journalist who inspires homeschooling families across the nation. Married to Jeff, Heather lives in the East Texas Piney Woods and homeschools her three children, Emelie, Meredith and Kenny.