Homeschool moms–or all moms, since we can all be quite cruel to ourselves–here’s my advice; stop with the perfectionism. Stop now.
No, not in a sec–when you get that thing you’re doing done.
Nope, not after you organize your kids’ 144 History readers by color, height and copyright date.
Not even after you print the zip file of 4×6 photos from last year’s science labs to archive neatly in plastic photo dividers.
I mean, stop right this very minute.
As in, now.
I give you permission. Heck, I give myself permission to be gloriously imperfect. *Gulp*
Why?
Because! Perfection is an unobtainable goal that steals our joy. I’m talking to myself here; so, uncross your arms and imagine me looking in the mirror if it helps.
For many years, I’ve considered myself organized; note, I did not say I’ve considered myself a perfectionist. When my friends said I was anal-retentive, I thought “If only they knew I just wiped out the orange ring around the inside of the toilet before they came over.”
I know, I know — it’s a gross association, but hey…
When others comment about how our schoolroom is always so neat and organized I think of the three laundry baskets of unfolded, wrinkly clothes on the kitchen table.
And when I’m put on a pedestal for having all the kids schoolwork archived, and the new curriculum ordered, before the first week of summer, I’m mentally flogging myself. Why? Because all I can think about is what I’m failing to do; for instance, the kids’ camp, church, and volunteer schedule this summer is not jiving with the year-round homeschooling approach THAT I WROTE ABOUT MULTIPLE TIMES.
Is there a support group for imperfectly perfectionist homeschooling mommas? A t-shirt?
Perfectionism is a dream.
Wait, no.
Perfectionism is a nightmare.
Now, before I go any further, I want to clarify that I believe in setting standards for ourselves. I believe we shouldn’t just sit around and do nothing, or intentionally let things fall to the wayside to avoid falling into the pit of perfectionism. That’s called procrastination, and it is the flipside of perfectionism, but that’s another topic for another post.
Still, when our daily list grows longer than the month is long, we are enslaving ourselves. If our kids spend more time staring at the back of our heads as we check, check, check each item off the list (adding other items to make sure we have an accurate list of ALL we accomplished) than they do interacting with us, maybe…just maybe…we are in the midst of robbing ourselves of the blessings all around us.
And finally, when we write super-duper, wordy sentences with enough commas, parentheses and ellipses to make a grammarian cry, we must know it’s time to surrender.
I surrender all.
Do you?
Can you?
My momma gave me the clipping I photographed above. I love it. It speaks to my very soul as I look out my homeschool window at my rock and cactus garden.
And because I’m fighting against perfectionism, I’m not going to get up and wipe the smears from the dogs’ noses that would otherwise obstruct my xeriscape view because if I squint just right, I don’t see it. The truth is, I know if I get up and grab the Windex and paper towels, two hours later I’ll still be cleaning all the windows in the house and vacuuming the honeycomb blinds.
I’m still working on my issues.
And you?
Do you suffer from perfectionism? Do you hunker under the guilt of what you failed to accomplish, instead of revelling in what you DID manage to finish?
How are you going to give yourself a break from the impossible this summer? Pulling out my graph paper, pen, and Bic Wite-Out Mini (y’know, just in case…) to take notes.
Heather Sanders is a leading homeschooling journalist who inspires homeschooling families to live, love and learn. Married to Jeff, Heather lives in the East Texas Piney Woods where she currently home schools two of her three kids.